What’s common between Michael Jordan, Lance Armstrong, Mohammed Ali and Tillu?

The following clipping appeared in the Prague Tribune some hours ago.

"Prague, 13 November 2008. Unconfirmed reports suggest that the blog titled “Musings of a dispassionate soul”, after months of inactivity is showing signs that there is something brewing. Our sources tell us that the author of the blog page, which is hugely popular in parts of the Czech Republic and Slovakia, is incredibly furious at the snobbery of the Literary Society, IIT Guwahati. ”How dare the LitSoc blog-page not list me on their list of bloggers”, He is quoted as saying. When our correspondent pointed out to him that he hardly blogs and is thus ineligible to be even considered for the LitSoc page, Mr. Trivedi gave a terse reply that involved something unprintable regarding our correspondent’s mother. The Prague tribune has since lost contact with its correspondent.

In related developments, the news that Mr. Trivedi might start blogging again has been greeted with a huge cheer across the Czech Republic. Consider the case of a conversation that the Prague tribune overheard:

Mr. Imafan Oftillu - Oye, He’s back!

Mr. Sceptical Boshtard - (rolls eyes).

Net users across Eastern Europe are eagerly awaiting Mr. Trivedi’s next move."

So here it is – my next move:

The reason for this blog post is simple, there have been allegations made, and my silence is being taken as a sign of guilt. I reiterate that I had nothing to do with the disappearance of the Tribune correspondent. I understand that all circumstantial evidence points towards me, but my name will be cleared in due course of time when his dead body is discovered on the Northern banks of the Brahmaputra and his post-mortem will indicate death due to natural causes. (wink).

Now, my dear reader, the Prague tribune has done an excellent job in categorizing you into disbelievers and believers. I have a message for both of you.

Understandably, Skeptical Boshtard has much to be aggrieved about. I am a bad bad man. I make promises and I break them. For that Mr. Boshtard, I am sorry.

Mr. Imafan Oftillu , apologies to you too, for this is intended to be a one-off post. I do not promise to follow this up with anything. I will try though.

Regarding the LitSoc snub, since they are right (and I hate it when people have a valid point against me) , I will launch a scathing Shobhan-esque tirade against the literary society. I shall canvass casual opinions from old hands about how good a writer I was, and use them as irrefutable proof to show the incompetence of the current lit club.

And now that I have already taken the pains of writing this much, I shall sign off with some general observations:

• The other day, a couple of people told me they find Pande bhaiya’s blogs enjoyable. No disrespect to Pande bhaiya, but the same people later admitted to being huge fans of golf (yawn!).

• I have learnt that the one way to improve the readership of your blog is to insult people and be unapologetic about it. Note to self: Insult more people. Note to Chandi: You’re next.

• I am proclaiming myself as the new Mr.Nice-guy of Bakarz now, what with Jakhar bhaiya having finally given up on his squeky clean image after his mail to Pande bhaiya was “leaked”.

“Why the fuck is my pic still in that article. The article looses the whole point of being anony writers. Get that pic removed ASAP or I am going to stick a rod up your and your Surd's ASS and both of you are going to bleed from your anus for weeks.“ ~ Navdeep Jakhar to Rohit Pande.

And I used to think subtlety was one of Jakhar bhaiya’s stronger points.

• I seem to have given up on reading. The last book I read properly was “The Fountainhead”. However, some of my friends are of the opinion that the only book I’ve ever read is “The Fountainhead”. The next time I mention the “F” word, Sheshank has sworn to mix laxative in my drink, and lock me up in my room.

• It is strange how the global economic crisis begins to seem a lot more interesting if you have a stake in it. A week ago, I was rooting for complete economic anarchy and a total collapse of the financial systems – revolving around the twisted logic that the fewer jobs there are around, the more valuable an IIT degree would be. (Pathetic I know). Now with Goldman Sachs having made me an offer which (in the Godfather’s words) I cannot refuse, my stance has changed. Now, I pray daily to Hanuman Ji to pull Goldman through. I am sure Goldman employees the world over would be delighted to learn of this new development. I expect to see Goldman’s stock rise meteorically once Wall Street learns about Hanuman Ji and my prayers.

And lastly, to put things into perspective, my last post on this blog was on February 05, 2007. I’ll be back in 2010 with a review of the commonwealth games. Till then, stay tuned.

PS – If you are still wondering what the post title is all about, I have a one-word answer – “Comebacks”.